Why there is no shame in watching TV while you eat.
When I was little, my dad would come home from work, we would all sit at the table as a family, eat dinner, and to leave the table you’d have to ask to be excused. Which now that I think about it? That is insane. Does anyone still do this? Why did we ever do it? Just say “I’m leaving” and walk away.
Anyway, at the table, we generally chatted about our day, got told what was wrong with us as people and ate food we may or may not have wanted to eat. But we ate it because that was pretty much it. Nobody was making you a single serve Kraft Mac & Cheese and then kissing your ass to finish up so they can do homework with you. Maybe that happened in some families, but not mine.
As I am now a dad, and have a wife and a kid, I have some control over what goes on at dinner time. I cook sometimes, my wife cooks sometimes, my daughter bitches about whatever it is we cooked and ends up getting second dinner prepared by my wife at least half the time. Nobody is asking me to be excused from the table. Ever. Why?
We do not eat at the table and instead eat in front of the television. We are trashy people. If you doubt this, please look at our Christmas tree situation. I sometimes see families say they cannot all eat together, because they must take their kid to practice, and mom has to work late. But they so very wish they could dine together as a family at the table. We have no such wish. Our kitchen table is covered with various school things and idiot stuff we buy.
As we do not want to get into the whole dinner table game, we take our meals in front of one of three giant television sets to watch Wheel of Fortune. This started about 5 years ago. In our defense, we do it together. All three of us are there. My daughter is going to someday realize her parents were, um…not great. But for now she is all good. I’ll take it.
To be honest, I never really liked watching Wheel of Fortune, but some things have pulled me in.
- I like to hear contestants talk about their kids or wife. I especially enjoy it when they have a job like mine or they are from Michigan. We will sometimes text family chat if someone is from Michigan so everyone can watch. This is behavior I never anticipated myself having.
- I wish positivity on overweight people playing the game. As I myself am a fatty, I want to see other fatties win big. I am not sure if this makes me a bad person or not, but I always root for the heavy person.
- My wife and I can comment, at least twice a week, that Vanna White looks very nice. I do not know why we say this. The show intentionally makes her look good. Of course Vanna looks nice. It is especially exciting when she wears some sort of pants. We love Vanna White.
- The contestants will occasionally do stupid things. Call the same letter twice, buy a vowel when the answer is obvious, not jump on the Express train, etc. In some episodes nothing stupid happens, but it is nice to wait for that special, stupid moment. And then you can discuss, as a family, how you would have never done that. Even though with Pat and Vanna staring at you when you are on the show? You’d probably do that.
- I am old and boring and I am no longer ashamed of watching. I am practically a teenager compared to a lot of contestants and much of the audience. It’s nice to not be the oldest person in any given situation.
I get watching tv while you eat is something only idiots on television shows want to do. You never see happy families moving their food in front of the tv. It is generally a trope to identify a character or family as, well, morons. Hey, that character wants to eat dinner in front of the tv! We know who the village idiot is!
I side with the idiot. It is no longer 1992 and a family dinner table is not required.
We talk as a family all day long. It’s endless. Texts and instant messages and phones in our pockets and social media and we both work from home. If I have something to say? I do not have to save it for the dinner table. If my wife wants to tell me that I am slacking on keeping the cars filled with gas, she does not have to wait until mealtime. That is the magic of 2024. We can nag and bitch whenever. No waiting required. And don’t get me started on family text chat with the grandmas and in-laws.
What is the point of this blog post? IDK. I kind of forget. But what I want to say is once you get to 40 or so, you can, if you desire, watch Wheel of Fortune while you eat dinner. Your kid will learn how to do word puzzles. There is no shame. If you are waiting until dinner time to drop the hammer or bring up important family issues? I would contend that you, in fact, are the problem.
Watch Wheel of Fortune. Vanna White is the best. That is all.
