We have an odd pattern at our house...
It follows this same process every October…
Step 1: Hey! Let’s get our tree up right after Halloween! Won’t that be nice?
We never do this.
Step 2: Alright, let’s get the Christmas decos from the basement, and slowly decorate the house in the week before Thanksgiving!
We also never do this.
Step 3: That tree is really heavy in the basement! Let’s call over our strong nephew to drag it up here.
This never happens ever.
Step 4: On approximately December 5th I go down to the basement and bring up the tree and decos. We then sit there and slowly put decorations up until mid-December.
Happens every year. But we get it done. Here is the proof
The above record of failure only applies to indoor decorations. I am actually pretty good at getting the outdoor decorations up and functioning by Thanksgiving. As I reflect on this, and you can be sure I don’t reflect on this often, I believe the shame of being the only house without lights outside drives me. Neighbors can see. It is easier to do the indoor stuff, as you are not fighting the Michigan weather. It is comparatively a delight.
We would have the house decorated in a timely manner if people could see it, but they cannot, so we do not. My daughter, who you would think wants to get the magic of Christmas splattered all around the house could not possibly care less about the process. She wants it done. She wants to have nothing to do with it.
Now, through rare reflection, I have determined that my primary motivation for the decorating of the house is shame. It gets worse. I am going to share another embarrassment.
It is February 1st. Our Christmas tree is still up.
All other decorations are down. I took down the outside decorations the first week in January. We did most of the indoor decorations by mid-January. But not the tree. Why not the tree? Well…
1. The tree is, as mentioned above, quite heavy. You have to put it in this giant tree storage bag, then drag it down the steps. Full disclosure: Our basement is a freak show.
2. Before you can do part 1, you need to undecorate the tree. This causes a problem at my house. Why?
a. My wife rightfully points out I put away the delicate ornaments like an idiot. This is a fair criticism.
b. I wait for my wife to do it, but she is one of those moms who works and does stuff at my daughter’s school and generally takes a massive interest in our family and kid.
c. I have a great marriage, but I can see the future here, and if I put away the ornaments I am going to hear about it next December.
So here stands our tree
Are we ashamed? Kinda? But we still light it up, therefore we are not ashamed enough. We are fortunate to have a largish home, so we can live on the other side of the first floor, meaning we don’t see the tree that much. We simply spend our time in my office or the livingroom. The den has become the family equivalent of the Chernobyl radiation zone due to this tree.
Another problem is when people come over we try to keep them on the tree-free side of the home. Which is fine, because my wife keeps a lovely home, but…it’s kind of weird. Nobody has asked to see the den yet, but if, say, my mother came over I would be shamed.
Anyway, it is February 1. This is a bad situation, but I honestly do not see how this is getting resolved.
Stay tuned.
ALSO!!!
Please see the Chica show below. It used to be awesome. Not to be confused with the Five Nights at Freddy’s Chika. Which seems vile by comparison. We were very sad when they canceled this show about a happy bird.